What is a dinosaur account and how can I get my hands on one?

Updated: Aug 22, 2020

If you're below the age of old - which, let's face it, everyone likes to think they are (unless you're my nan, who liked to pretend she was 10 years older to get compliments on her on her 'youthful looks') - you're probably thinking 'why on earth should I care about my dinosaur account* right now, I've got more important stuff to do like ferment my own Kombucha and watch chiropractor videos?' (ok, maybe the last one is just me). Well, youthful being, you couldn't be more wrong, and these are my top three reasons why (because you can't get more persuasive than a 'list of three'):

1. The future is doomed Ok, that might be a little too dramatic, but in all seriousness, it's easy to look at your parents/grandparents and assume you're going to have the same cushty retirement they do, but, in reality, this just isn't the case.

Companies have realised that they can't afford to keep supporting retired people like they have done in the past, so unless you're prepared to live off the mere eight stacks you'll be given by the state each year, you'd better start building up a dinosaur account of your own.

2. There's more to life than work

Unless you're one of those workaholic weirdos, you're probably planning to take a career break at some stage in your life, whether it be to have kids, visit a yoga retreat in India to 'find yourself', or transform your Insta meme page from a side-hustle to an empire.

Assuming one of your memes doesn't go viral, you're unlikely to be earning any money during your career break, which means you almost certainly won't be putting money into your dinosaur account - so the key is to build up a buffer while you are working to allow you to be the free-spirited, spontaneous mofo you are.

3. You're full of excuses Us humans are all the same, we put things off and make up excuses to rationalise our stupid decisions. And when it comes to personal finance, we're no different.

With dinosaur accounts, one of the most dangerous things you can do is 'opt out' (I'll speak more about this in my next blog). You might think you could do with the extra hundred-odd pounds a month for all those boozy brunches, you tell yourself that you'll start contributing to your dinosaur account when you get a pay rise, when you move in with bae, when you've saved enough money to buy a G Wagon - but you're lying to yourself! And, sooner or later, instead of a Argentinosaurus (they're f@!*ing massive - Google it) you'll end up with a Microraptor - and you can kiss your dreams of a cushty retirement goodbye.

So what?

So in the wise words of Nike 'just do it' (or if you're eligible for a workplace pension scheme, don't do anything - if you're wondering WTF a workplace pension scheme is dw - I'll cover this in my next blog). *A dinosaur account is what I call a pension, 'cause I'm cool like that.

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Now for the serious part: my blogs are for educational purposes only; they do not constitute financial advice. Please consult with an independent financial advisor for advice on your specific circumstances. 

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